They’re Just Words Idiots!

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Ok, I’ve had it.

The world is filled with idiots, we’ve already established that here in these hallowed pages, but the one thing that the vast majority of people, some of whom I don’t generally regard as idiotic, have a major hang up about cussing.

Cursing, Foul Language, whatever you want to call it. The words the George Carlin referred to in his classic “7 Words”.

Who says these words are bad? Who and what makes the the de facto authoritah?
The Bible?, Dear Abby? Martha Stewart? Mr. Rogers? Who dammit?

And Why? Because Jesus said so? Really are you sure about that? Because its not polite? Why because someone just arbitrarily deemed it so?

What makes one group of letters evil versus another when both groups refer to the same thing?

Its ridiculous that people make such a stink over words. When the only meaning any word has is that which we give it. Words themselves have no power in and of themselves. But people everyday give select words more importance than other, even you dear reader are probably guilty of it. Have you ever asked yourself what makes saying sh!t worse than saying poo? Sure sh!t sounds more salacious but it means the same as poo.

Or what about an even less obvious polarization, the words p!ss and pee? How is p!ss worse than pee when the both refer to urine or urinating? Whats the difference?

Nothing, just like what’s between most peoples’ ears.

Obviously this dilemma goes beyond potty words, but when you think about the difference between “clean” words and their “dirty” synonyms you should ask, why does it matter which is used?

When you get right down to it, all the power that words hold over us, we give them. All of it. When you tell your kids that its bad to say these words, what do you think they really hear? They hear that these words have power and that they are not allowed to wield it. At least in your presence, because you know that they do when they not in your ear-shot. When you react with shock and disgust that your neighbor called your dog a F&cking Worthless Sh!t-Machine, thats exactly what he wanted. Does that mean that your dog is a F&cking Worthless Sh!t-Machine, of course not. And when you break it down, can a sh!t-machine f&ck anyway?

Some of our favorite blue-terms don’t really even make any sense when you analyze the words themselves. For example f*ck-head. On a purely grammatical level these two terms don’t work together. What exactly is a f*ck-head? The tip of a penis at best, I suppose, but really its doesn’t mean anything. Anything except what we make it mean.

Another good example is b!itch. Female animal, typically a dog, by its Webster’s definition, but we have given it a much harsher meaning. To call a woman a female dog is no more insulting that calling her a female squirrel or snake, is it? She is female after all and don’t we all like dogs? I do, I actually prefer female dogs over males, but for some reason calling a woman a b!tch is not very nice. Why? Because someone decided so.

I say f%ck ’em.

With all due respect,
The Chief

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