Shut Up, I Don’t Want To Hear Your Opinion!

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As the saying goes, “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink”.

You may find it odd that such a post would be titled on this site, given our inclination to opine, but don’t forget that we don’t present opinion. Rather our musings are more of the learned-observation ilk.

Or at least we tell ourselves that.

Really though I plugged that title into the system many months ago after dealing with an onslaught of dipshits who thought I needed to hear their take all anything from movies to grocery stores to why smoking should be tolerated and I found myself wondering…

Who the fucked asked you anyway?

People love to hear themselves talk.

It’s true just ask anyone you know for their opinion on the hot-button d’jour and see if you don’t get an earful. Usually what you are treated to is a mimic and pantomime show of a talking head the saw on TV the night before. I mean lets face it MOST people don’t form their own opinions; they let the media tell them what to think. So you rarely get actually considered opinion. Instead you are accosted by some jerk-off who simply wants to wave their hands and stomp around in hopes that you will either buy in to their stupidity and agree or you will feign a lack of interest so that they will just shut up. Either way you usually don’t get any useful information; just a bunch of blah, blah, blah.

To make matters worse, there are many occasions that I have and I’m sure you have to, experienced a deluge of unrequested critique or commentary. Most commonly it occurs in two distinct scenarios; 1)whilst you are telling a story wherein some detail, like the movie you saw or the restaurant you ate at, sparks your co-conversator to elucidate their opinion on the subject, interrupting not only your train of thought but your story which after their 5 minute diatribe is no longer relevant or of interest or 2)during a task your “friend” offers a critique of your technique and then follows up with a handy bit of advise on the method they prefer which with or without saying so is better than yours.

There are of course other ways which people like to proffer with opinions and I am sure that you can recount a half dozen more but as I’ve said; who the fuck asked you anyway?

The issue is not that I or many of you reading do not possess the skin thickness required to handle criticism or that we don’t appreciate well-meaning advise. Rather the issue is distinctly this, if I wanted your opinion I would ask for it. Why can I not tell you a story without your interjections? Why can we not perform our tasks without uninvited supplementary instructions? Why can’t we simply be allowed to say / do what we set out to free of discoloration by another?

I’ll tell you why by reiterating the first line of this post; Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. That’s why I prefer people to wear pants. I don’t want to see yours.

With all due respect,

The Chief