It’s Captain Magic Underpants!

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So today Mitt Romney came out ahead in the Iowa Caucus. Barely beating out Rick Santorum. Didn’t see that happening. Where the hell did Santorum come from? I thought Ron Paul would have been 2nd

But I digress.

This post is about Mr. Mitt Romney and the fact that he could be the next President of the United States.

4 years ago I used one of the many “calculators” out there on the internet that have you enter how you feel on certain issues and how important they are to you. When you’re finished it matches the information with which candidate you agree with the most.

Much to my surprise it was Mitt Romney.

I thought to myself, “I hate all these fuckheads but now one of them thinks similar to me?” This can’t be!

So I agree on his stance on the issues facing this country and MAYBE this is the guy that will be the next leader of the free world.

I just can’t get over the fact that he probably wears magic underwear.

Yes. Magic Underwear.

You see, a great many Mormons believe in a thing called Temple Garments. The easiest way to explain it (and laziest) is to Cut and Paste some shit from Wikipedia: A Temple garment (also referred to as garments, or Mormon underwear) is a type of underwear worn by members of some denominations of the Latter Day Saint movement, after they have taken part in the Endowment ceremony. Garments are worn both day and night and are required for any previously endowed adult to enter a church temple. The undergarments are viewed as a symbolic reminder of the covenants made in temple ceremonies, and are viewed as either a symbolic or literal source of protection from the evils of the world.

I can’t make this shit up.

The details on these things just goes on and on. There are stitchings and embroidered symbols in key areas that represent various symbols pertaining to Jesus and purity and act to constantly remind them that they are sinners and underneath a divine being. Nothing new for organized religion.

I was telling a Christian friend about the magic underwear today and it just blew his mind. Even other Christians think this shit is batshit crazy!

I guess this isn’t any worse than Rick Perry praying for rain or Michelle Bachmann thinking the Bible can cure homosexuality. I would just like a President that can totally focus on what is REAL. Because our problems are real. We need real solutions and someone who is entirely grounded in reality.

I pray that this happens someday.

 

-Darth