Idiots At Starbucks

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So I’m sitting at Starbucks waiting for someone and it occurs to me “What better time to write down my observations of idiots!”

So my thumbs of hate kick in on my iPhone.

A 20 minute visit to Starbucks is all it takes to accumulate fodder for this site.

I’m sure there are other places as well that would warrant a post as well, but here I am.

Idiot #1

An Indian guy walks in, dot not feather. I go back to my phone. He orders a Caramel Cappuccino. These don’t exist so the barista tries to clarify and he gets bothered because he’s busy multitasking a conversation on his Bluetooth.

Now he gets all flustered. How dare they mess up the conversation he’s having?


(I’m sure this sounded racist but really, idiots come in all skin colors.)

Idiot #2

Now a Barista has struck up a conversation with another coworker. It seems like every location has one of these baristas on hand. The jaded could-be-a-lesbian. These are the ladies who are just there to slave over your coffee whim. They’re not there conversation or a smile. They have the attitude of “Get your coffee and go, breeder.”

Anyway, ten minutes goes on about various topics such as smoke breaks, no raises in the future and how her girlfriend works at the other location and she’s about ready to quit.

Come on. I’m right here. I don’t want to hear this shit.

(idiots are idiots no matter what sexual preference.)

Idiot #3

The guy who comes in for just a coffee with his friend and bitches the entire time, before ordering, during ordering and after ordering about the outrageous price of a coffee at Starbucks. Don’t fucking come here douche bag. I know it’s more than other places but I think it’s worth it. The guy doesn’t shut up about it, all the way out to his new Lexus.

(Money can’t buy you out of idiocy.)

Idiot #4

A lady enters with three kids dressed in parochial school uniforms. It’s early morning so they’re probably due at school soon. She orders a coffee for herself and treats for the kids. This is a decent size Starbucks and there’s plenty of seats but of course she decides to plop the spawn by me. Five minutes of bratty kids trying to scarf down their cookies while they whine about the other having more chips than them, how Zach is looking at Maddy funny while the other unnamed retard sits there making fart noises. I guess she didn’t know they have a drive-thru.

(Idiots breed)

Now of course there were some non-idiot people who came in. Two.

One of them includes me.

(Some idiots blog about shit no one else cares about.)


  3 comments for “Idiots At Starbucks

  1. The Rev
    December 6, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    I'm at Lion's Choice (the one in the gas station at 109 & 100) the other night and a there's about a 16 to 18 year old girl at the counter who takes my order. While waiting for the pinhead in the back to make my order, a late 30's early 40's year old woman walks in with a little girl that's 8 tops. She evidently knows the girl behind the counter because she starts rattling off a barrage of obscenities talking about a guy she must have dated that treated her bad, who recently called her for a "booty call". Right in front of her daughter, who is fingering everything on the rack across from the LC counter she starts F'ing this and F'ing that talking very loudly about she isn't giving this guy the time of day and that she hasn't had sex with anyone in two months, like she should be rewarded for not sleeping with someone for such a short period of time. The Rev thinks she was lying and is pretty sure at that point she had picked her daughter up straight off a back seat lovefest with a total stranger that probably included the divulgance of illegal narcotics. The girl behind the counter isn't as apalled at this woman's behavior as me but isn't digging it either. Meanwhile, this poor little girl who by no fault of her own has to call this pathetic piece of garbage her mother, has gone into a blank stare very much processing the filth coming out of her whore mother's mouth. I literally pictured myself grabbing this woman by the neck and punching her square in the mouth repeatedly in a full fledge blackout moment, and the The Rev is not a violent person. Not to mention the couple to the left eating at a table who looks like they had been married 50years wers subjected to this also. I swear he looked at me like, "off that bitch Rev". I rolled my eyes, took my food and left without incident.
    (white trash mothers are idiots too!)

  2. The Chief
    December 6, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    The post…awesome in every way. I have nothing to add.
    Awesome. Exactly what should be on these pages. Idiots.

  3. The Chief
    December 6, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    @Rev. That Lion's Choice is full of half-witts and bottom feeders, but the parenthetical comment at the end should have read "ALL white trash mothers are idiots".

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