I Feel a Disturbance…

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The last two weeks had one of the biggest nerd news days ever. I received a text from a friend that read “According to CNBC Disney just bought Lucasfilm and Star Wars Episode VII will be out in 2015!!!” I looked to my coworker and whispered “holy shit…” then jumped on the internet, not really believing what I just read. I verified it and still had a hard time believing it. 

I was inundated with email and texts and my son called me within minutes to get my take on everything. Is this a good thing? Who should direct Episode VII?

My Facebook feed and posts to my wall went crazy. Not surprisingly, the majority of it was negative.

So here’s my opinion on all the negative bullshit surrounding Star Wars, whether it’s the prequel-whining or the Disney acquisition:

Shut the fuck up you crybaby bastards.

The Disney move is probably the best thing to happen to Star Wars in a long time. It insures the growth and longevity of the franchise. Most likely it’s going to be handled well. Disney bought Marvel and I would have to say The Avengers is probably the greatest superhero movie made to date. You don’t hear Avengers fans poo-pooing Joss Whedon for not sticking to the original comics. 

Disney and Lucasfilm have enjoyed a healthy working relationship for years now. They’ve been doing their Star Wars Weekends in which the park is basically taken over by Star Wars with all the Disney characters dressed up as Star Wars characters. Pretty cool stuff. They’ve also had the Star Tours rides since the 1980s and those were executed really well too. Not only does this deal ensure more movies, they also plan to expand the Star Wars presence in the parks. If I can have a chance to have a drink at the Mos Eisley Cantina I’ll be a happy man. 

My only fear is that Episode 7 will get fucked up. This could go horribly wrong. I don’t want to see Han, Luke and Leia old. If that’s their plan, I hope it’s only in the first 10 minutes or something. Hopefully it will be set much further in the future from Return of the Jedi.

I also do not want to see a stylized director doing the movie either. No Tim Burton or Christopher Nolan. I could write an entire post on how overrated Christopher Nolan’s movies are. Maybe some other time. 

How about JJ Abrams? His Star Trek relaunch was flawless (although I’m not a diehard Trekkie).

Now let’s address the (so called) purists.

People are already slamming Lucas, saying that “anyone can make a better Star Wars movie than those last three.” I liked the prequels and consider Revenge of the Sith my second favorite. Next to The Empire Strikes Back, of course. I see the “George Lucas raped my childhood” people as a bunch of babies. If you only like half of the films that doesn’t make you much of a fan, does it? What’s happened to you that your fandom is so fragile? I wasn’t a big fan of Jar Jar or midichlorians either, but damn, get over it. AND (with the exception of Han shooting first) the Special Editions mostly improved the original films.

But I back to the Disney deal.

Disney also owns ABC. Will we finally be seeing a Star Wars television series? That COULD be good. The time seems right. Lucas has already written a bunch of episodes already. How about a Boba Fett miniseries? So many great possibilities. When I was little I dreamed of a Star Wars saturday morning cartoon. I pretty much have it now with The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network. Proof that Star Wars can exist without George Lucas’ direct involvement. He provides a basic outline or idea and lets others go with it.

The merchandising will be pretty kick-ass too. Even now I marvel at the various things I can find when I go through Target. Not to mention thinkgeek.com. Sure the toys out there are cool but give me more Star Wars T-shirts, Christmas shit and oddball things like banks and shot glasses. Bring it!

In closing, I think the future of Star Wars is going to be great. This guarantees that the franchise will go on for a very, very long time. I remember that period between Return of the Jedi and the Special Editions and how shortly after that Lucas announced the prequels. Those were dark times, not having any new Star Wars material.

So all you nay-sayers out there, go, walk out of the basement and tell your mom and dad, because we true fans don’t want to hear it.

– Darth