I AM The Facebook Rulemaster!

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Darth SignFacebook is annoying.
Can these words be any more true? How about “People on Facebook are Annoying”?
We could narrow it down even more specifically and say “My ‘friends’ on Facebook Are Annoying”.
My big problem is that I probably have too big of expectations when it comes to my “friends” and their involvement on Facebook. I have 321 friends on Facebook. As of this writing, that is. I expect it to go lower soon. Very soon. I’ve been prone to spout off some venomous shit lately that many can take offense to. What can I say? Sometimes I just snap when I read some peoples’ bullshit. Here’s a fun list of my top 5 Facebook annoyances. Feel free to amend.
  1. Uninformed Criticism of our President – Facebook was just starting out when President Bush was in office. There was quite a bit of sniping at him at the time but I’ve never seen this vitriol  for President Obama before. Yeah, yeah, I know he’s not popular, not many Presidents in my lifetime have been, but the level of misinformed shit that people “share” on Facebook is crazy. No matter what kind of facts are out there people will choose to ignore them in favor of wanting so much to believe that he is a Muslim who wasn’t born in this country, wants to take away “religious freedom”, kill us with drones, be friends with Iran, keep us unemployed, and take away our guns. (Well, there may be some validity in that last part). These posts are the ones I’m the most guilty of calling people out on their bullshit for.
  2. Jesus stuff – I’ve been very clear about my Atheism. Here and on Facebook. I admit, I struggle to live and let live when it comes to people’s religious beliefs. However, there is a line of stupidity, demotivation and laziness that I just can’t ignore sometimes. Should we always respect other people’s religions? I say it’s more important to acknowledge those beliefs. Giving respect sometimes grants validity where there shouldn’t be any. Anyway, I’m getting off-track as I always do. Pertaining to Facebook. It drives me crazy when people give so much credit to God/Jesus. Especially when it applies to health. Example #1: Someone went to the doctor, had surgery, and gives credit to God. The doctor’s and nurses were just there. They did very little. It was all magic. Example #2: Bad things have happened but I’m not going to let Satan win. Maybe some of these things happening are your fault or maybe God just has it in for you. Example #3: “Friend” posts something religious about having strength through God to get them through a specific situation when I know damn well that they caused the fucking problem in the first place and won’t take the steps necessary to resolve it with minimal application of reason.
  3. Posting how much you love your spouse and giving evidence (often photographic) of said love and appreciation – Yes. Loving your spouse is great. Good for you. I love mine too. However, I don’t need to convince anyone. Occasionally posting a pic of a special meal or mentioning a sweet thing they did for you is fine. If it’s to the point of daily frequency while you’re in the same room that is Epic Level Douchebaginess. Or maybe it’s just smoke and mirrors. I find it all very suspicious.
  4. Man Bashing and Relationship Advice “Shares” – Yeah, yeah. There’s some real assholes out there that take advantage of women or treat them like shit. But guess what? If it’s constantly happening to you guess what the consistent factor is? YOU. Start seeing different people.  Change something up and quit whining. Also, I’m getting sick of the destiny shit and how the lord has a plan. Take control.
  5. Keep your pyramid-scheme bullshit off of Facebook. I don’t want to lose weight with Visalis or whatever the fuck it is. It’s the new Amway. Do you actually know anyone who got rich from that? Doubtful. Remember MonaVie from a couple years ago? Was one of your friends trying to peddle that grapejuice shit to you? It was going to change your life for $40 a bottle!
  6. Selfies – narcissism to the highest degree. Quit taking pictures of yourself. You’re not fooling anyone. You are alone. Unless you are a 14 year-old girl you should never take a picture of yourself while holding the camera down to capture your disturbing mug. If you are a male of any age this is not acceptable. Ever. If you take it with someone else that’s ok, but don’t over do it. Stop taking pictures of yourself in the mirror as well. It’s a practice that even your best friends (all two of them) laugh at behind your back. You idiotic “LOOK AT ME” morons.
I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Just hide your friends or filter what shows on their posts.” Fuck that. That’s a lot work.
Besides, I have a website to promote using Facebook. 2,416 Likes.
LOOK AT ME!
-Darth