How Do You Know It’s Really…?

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When you order a decaf non-fat latte, how do you know its really decaf? Caffeinated and decaffeinated coffees taste the same, more or less, particularly true of espresso.

So how do you know?

Do you know because you don’t get the jitters 15 minutes after drinking it? How do you know that you don’t get the jitters because someone told you that you get the jitters from too much caffeine, a kind of waking hypnotic suggestion?

Do you know because you saw the barista use the beans from the “green” or “orange” box of beans which have because the international colors for decaf? How do you know that she didn’t run out of decaf an hour ago and filled the bin up with whatever beans she still had? She could have. What does she care? It’s not like you’re going to call in an USDA analyst to sample and test the beans.

How do you know its non-fat milk, or as I think the rest of the world calls it, skim milk? Do you know because the steamed milk has a lighter texture? Could be too much steam. Or do you know because you don’t feel as full after drinking the latte? Could be that light lunch you had. Or is it because the foam is stiffer? Again, steaming plays into it.

How do you know that the guy that writes your favorite book series, actually writes it all himself? He could have help, or even people writing all of it for him. How do you know that your favorite actress has blue eyes? Could be contacts. How do you know that its really light mayo they put on your sandwich? Because it came out of the squeeze bottle with light mayo written on it?

My point is you don’t know. Not really.

You know or you think you know because they told it is. Whoever “they” are. You know because you asked for it and your reasonably expectation is that they complied.

But how often are you wrong? How often do you get regular coffee, even though it was poured from the decaf carafe? How often is the low fat muffin really just a plain old full fat one?

My guess, very often. Not because I’m a cynic, which I am, but because it’s easier to lie then it is to do it right. And that is why we find ourselves in all the trouble we are in.

We are lazy.

We, as in humans.

Humans are lazy and hate to be inconvenienced. It’s easier to lie than it is to do it right, when you know that there’s really no way to prove you lied. Humans are excellent at analyzing a situation and determining what can be faked and what cannot. We do it all day, every day.

When someone asks “how are you today” do you tell them? Of course not, because it’s too much trouble to get into all the bullshit you have in your head that is making you miserable. Instead you say, “good, thanks,” which of course is grammatically incorrect. Another thing we are good at, simplifying everything until even the words we use are meaningless. It’s entirely unacceptable in most all human cultures to tell someone how you really are when asked that question.

When someone says “where should we eat lunch”, are they asking because they have no idea where to eat, or because it’s easier to make you decide? If you say “I don’t care”, do you really not care? Or it is too much effort to tell them where you want to eat, which is where you know they don’t and all the discussion that follows is too tedious to tolerate?

Lazy and untruthful.

The lazy part though is probably the worst, in my view, because it opens to door to laziness’ cousin, complacency.

Humans are easily complacent. Something you also see everyday, with increasing regularity, and it’s what will ultimately destroy not only our culture but our very existence. It’s too much trouble to stand up against a neighbor whose dog shits in your yard, or to a cop that’s unfairly ticketing you, or to a politician that you know is on the take, or to a company that is morally out of touch or to a government that is manipulating your life.

It’s too much trouble to not only say you want change but to actually make it happen and that is exactly what those who have real power are counting on.

They know that when they fuck us just a little bit at a time, we are too lazy to doing anything about it. They know that we will just roll with the punches and keep on going. They also know that most humans have very short memories. We forget what they fucked us out of, so it is easy to fuck us on something else. It just takes a little patience on their part.

Soon though, if we have not woken up from our naps on the couch, we will have little left to take and they will have it all.

By then it won’t matter if your coffee is regular or decaf because they will have convinced you that green tea is better.

With all due respect,
The Chief

  1 comment for “How Do You Know It’s Really…?

  1. Dustin
    September 10, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    When I was 15 I got a job at McDonalds, and if they said Decaf and we did not have any made, or it was not ready yet then they got caffeinated. It also worked the other way around. But it keept the drive thru times down and the boss seemed happy, and not one customer bitched.

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