A very small percentage of the shit people post of Facebook is worth reading. For the most part, FB statuses fall into four categories; 1)Bragging, 2)Snark, 3)Whining, and 4) the “I just brushed my teeth” post.
As you may have guessed, I like the snarky shit. Even better if its not only snarky but also pointed at someone/thing I don’t like. I’ve written about the bragging posts before and won’t belabor the point other than to say “no one likes your fucking kid/dog/truck/wife/brother/friend as much as you do, so SHUT THE FUCK UP”. I’m going to save the other two for future special treatment here on these pages.
There is a new-ish trend on Facebook that has really gotten out of hand; posting pictures of the beer you are drinking with some lame fucking tag line like, “ah another cold one for me please” or ” Is it beer:30 yet?”.
It may have been clever the first time you saw it, but seriously do you really think anyone gives a shit that your drinking beer? I mean it doesn’t take a lot of intellect to open that goddamn can so surely your not bragging that you did it all by yourself. Are you disillusioned to the extent that you believe those of us who read your post and aren’t drinking a beer some how wish we were you because you have the only beer left in the universe?
Even more troubling, and this is going to get me in trouble, is that the people that most often are guilty of this are over the age of 30. It would almost be understandable for a 21 year old college kid to post a picture of his 15th beer of the night with a line like “15 bottles of beer on the wall, 15 bottles of beer” but no. These are posts by people who are a) drinking probably one of 2 or 3 they will have for the evening, and b)are so beyond the legal drinking age that they should be well passed their fascination with being able to legally drink.
It’s time to stop posting pictures of your beer people, or I’m going to start posting pictures of my coffee, every cup and if you know me that will get old fast.
With all due respect,