A Catering Story – By Dirty Darril

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Okay folks, this week I am going to back off of my soapbox so to speak and go back to telling a story from my past. So this week, I think that I will to share my short career in the catering business.

First let me say that I have always wanted to be a chef. I just got caught up in a different field and never pursued it. So when I met my now good friend that owned a catering business it was no problem to help out when he needed extra people.

Not to mention he paid cash.

My first few jobs with them were easy stuff. The roast beef carver at the carving station during the christmas parties, the hamburger patty maker at the small company picnics, etc. I was the shrimp cocktail maker at the private rooftop party for General Motors during the riverfront 4th of July fireworks display in Detroit. I know, I know, awesome huh? Eat your hearts out.

Now as much fun as I was having as shrimp boy, I was getting tired of these highly skilled tasks and needed more. Something with more action. The only problem was that I wasn’t a full-time employee and they had the good jobs. So I stayed with what I could get, had alot of fun with it but the night that I knew if I didn’t get better jobs then I was done was this one…

It was the black tie award night for junior hockey. I know, it doesnt sound like much but this is Detroit and those people are nuts over hockey. So anyway, this is a two hundred or so sit down dinner and we are set up in the back of this arena with an assembly line of people each of which had one item of food to place on each plate. I was green been boy. I had to take five green beans and stand them on end propped up by the chicken or pork or whatever the fuck they had. This night was all about the green beans for me. I can honestly say that this task sucked ass. On top of trying to make beans stand on end, there was this jack-off of a guy who thought he was a drill sergeant yelling “move it people”, “get these plates out”, etc. A real ass, but I guess he was needed looking back on it.

After the event I spoke to my friend and told him that this wasn’t my gig. Yes people, Dirty Darril was broke down by green beans…don’t judge, you weren’t there and have know idea of the misery I went through. I told him that if it was real important and he couldn’t find anybody else call me but I wanted better jobs.

A few month’s later my friend calls me and asked me if I was interested in working a beer stand at an upcoming event. Being that I had plenty of time to get over the green bean event, I agreed. This event was to be held on the grounds of Northwestern University. I can’t recall who the party was for but it was a big deal. Huey Lewis and the News were playing and the outside events were really all out.

When I arrived, my friend told me that the beer and wine stand was further away from the food tents. The party started at the food tents with some speakers and such then afterwards moved down by me and the after dinner entertainment. I guess I was about 100 yards from the food area. Now for this event people who ran the stands had headsets that were all on the same channel and even some of the other companies that supplied services to make this party were on the same channel.

After stocking the beer, wine, and ice me and the kid helping me had about an hour to kill. So we people watched and shot the shit. As we were talking, one of the hottest women I have ever seen came walking by and I proceed to tell this kid how she is so hot and he is talking about her tits and ass. Guy stuff, you know. I start saying how I would love to tongue-jack her shit box and we go on and on. All of a sudden I see my friend that I am working for running his ass off. We thought somebody must be hurt or something until he slightly rounded a table and made a b-line for my stand. It was then that I got up from the stool I was sitting on and no longer was leaning back on the beer cases that I heard DARRIL..DARRIL…Your headset is on!!!! He made it to the stand and took my headset. I had been leaning on the talk button the entire time.

He sent me home.

We are still friends.

He doesn’t ask me to help out anymore though.


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