$15 per Hour for Burger Flippers, Really? Let’s Compare.

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fast-food-strike

This movement among fast-food workers, which started here in my hometown of St. Louis, has me perplexed. The current average wage for a fast food “worker”, you know someone 18-24 years old, that kid that won’t make eye contact with you when you order, can’t or won’t speak clear enough for you to communicate with them, that in most cases lives at home, that in most cases has not completed any education outside of high school and in most cases didn’t either finish or barely finished high school.

You know, this kid.

taco-licking_620x350Now I get that everyone wants to make more money. Most people though want more money than they are worth simply because we all have some degree of egomania, so the basic premise of their argument, we want more money because we want it, I understand.

I don’t agree with it, but I understand where they are coming from. Specifically where is a little place I like to call Self-Delusion Land. The same place that the people that work in the shoe department at stores like Nordstrom and Neiman are from and the cunts at the license bureau.

The larger problem here really can be boiled down to basic math, which of course is something these people are bad at otherwise they wouldn’t be slinging sliders and asking “May uh take you orda?” for a living. You see it all comes down to what I refer to as Worth By Comparison. It’s sort of like when you say to yourself, “self, should I buy a $20 bottle of wine, when for $20 I could get 2 bottles of $5 wine and a pizza?”

Look at it this way, if we pay fast food workers $15.00 an hour instead of the $8.00 they are getting now we have to pay everyone else who does literally anything other than fast food work at least $20.00 per hour, because just about anything is more physically and/or mentally demanding than fast food work.

Or look at it this way, which is they way I generally see it, a person working fast food spends roughly 3-5 days in training, of some sort. Now I’m not sure how it takes upwards of 24 working hours to learn how to use a POS system, make change and put food in a bag, but nonetheless, 3-5 days is typical. So you can come into a profession like microwaving pre-cooked hamburger patties at Mickey D’s, train for 3 days and start out making $7.40 per hour. Compare that to a nurse. He spends no less than12 months in training. 12 months of a full-time college level schedule, so we are talking about 12 months at 8 hours per day, or 2,100 hours of training. Using the 3 days (24 hours which is way more than they actually work during training) and the $15 per hour that they are asking for in our calculation, an entry level LPN should be making roughly

$1,312.50 PER HOUR

Funny thing is they don’t.

They start at a national average just over $20 per hour. And they save lives. And they work 50 plus hours per week. And they are usually friendly and make you feel better or at least safe. And they don’t bitch about it, at least too much.

As another example, lets take the typical teacher in St. Louis. She makes a paltry $29,000 per year to start or an averaged $14.00 per hour. Her training requires a bachelor’s degree, so 4 years of full-time student status or about 4,000 hours. So teachers in Missouri should start a roughly

$2,500.00 per hour

But sadly they don’t either. And think about what they have to do. Just the constant underlying fear of being killed in the next school shooting is enough to warrant hazard pay.

Now I could go on and look at doctors or policemen, or just about ANY OTHER FUCKING JOB THERE IS to beat my point to death but I think you got it.

I know the counter-argument that everyone is paid too little because rich people are fucking us all. Ok maybe, but how about the dumb fucks that work in a job that requires no skill can’t expect to be paid as if they have skills and if they do have some skills or talents they need to find a better job. And don’t tell me about unemployment. Have you seen the recent data? People are getting their jobs back and everything is going to be great; just ask your President.

With all due respect,

The Chief